Our baby Lachlan was born Friday 7:19am April 17. He passed peacefully in his mummy's arms Saturday 1:30am April 25, surrounded by the immense love from his parents.
His little light had gone out before or shortly after he was born, but it took several days before we realized this. He had fought so bravely to survive so that we could meet, for which we are so grateful to him. We told him that we would always love him, we would always be with him, that we we would always miss him, that he shouldn't be scared and that he should rest. The doctors helped us make sure that he did not suffer in his final hours. And with the hardest choice we have ever been given, we made sure that he would only know our love and would not have a lifetime of pain and suffering without joy.
After removing all but one tube and monitor, we held baby Lachlan for the evening wrapped only in a soft blanket so that we could rock him and sing him to sleep. This time with him was precious. We heard his voice as he breathed for himself without the ventilator. We stroked his head and hands, and covered him with soft kisses. He was so loved by us, more than we could ever had imagined.
While he visited us for 8 days, we told him all about our lives and the world. We told him about our immediate and extended families. His names. Our careers and our friends. We told him about girls, and Australia. We told him about movies and TV shows. We told him our favorite foods and colors. The cars we've driven, and funny stories and experiences we've had. We sang to him and played him soothing music. We massaged his legs and feet with baby massage oil. We combed his beautiful blonde hair with our fingertips. We blew on his hair so that he could know what it is to feel the wind. He could see the sky from his hospital room. We left smell cloths near his nose, that smelled like mummy and daddy. We left them for him to sleep with for eternity.
We don't know if he could tell that any of this happened. If he could, then we know that he felt loved. Many believe that babies can dream from 28 weeks in the womb. We hope that he got to experience life for the month before he was born, within his dreams, and that they were filled with our voices and love for him.
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